Boys Will Be Boys? How About Whatever They Want to Be in Christ?

Before I get rolling, let me inform you: Facebook is a terrible place to have an intellectual debate. Learn from my mistake. Specifically, this one.

Thanks to assholes like Mark Driscoll and holier-than-thou-art's like John Piper, it seems like that old question of what is the place of gender and sex when it comes to God will quickly be answered with "men need to be men and being a woman is still a no-no in the eyes of God, ESPECIALLY if you were born a boy." I don't need to convince you that these men hold these opinions; the evidence is everywhere, and if you're reading this, you already know. It's good old fashioned sexism at it's best: "men are still on top, so women, get on your knees where you belong. And God says so."

But does He really?

What did Christ have to say about man/woman gender roles?

And what about those who simply don't fit these, because of personal defiance (like my girlfriend and I) or those who never will (like people born intersexed or with no clear and concise set of anatomy)?

The following conversation was had on Facebook when a pastor and friend of mine posted a news article about a mother and father raising their children genderless.


http://www.parentcentral.ca/parent/babiespregnancy/babies/article/995112--parents-keep-child-s-gender-secret 


Nothing, and I repeated, nothing has been omitted from this conversation, even my own spelling errors and fury on the topic. I'm not going to blog any further than this conversation, because it perfectly sums up my feelings and frustrations on the subject. And as for everybody else here; well, they literally speak for themselves.

MT: These people were called hippies and flower children when I was a teen and look how well most of their kids turned out.

WWC: Truly bizarre...denying much of how God wired male and female

KDM: geesh

LS: Maybe Im just weird, but all I can think is that that baby now has nowhere to belong and no one to identify with. God made girls and boys different for a reason, and to be denied that is so very sad. (4 likes.)

CCD: Poor kids - article makes me feel sick...what a mixed-up, corrupt world we live in...shame on the parents for pushing their agendas on these precious children - grrrrrrr. 

[To which my friend Joshua Smith said: "I got frustrated at this comment. Isn't that what all parents do, push their agendas on their precious children? I'm reminded of a Marvin Gaye song that says, 'Everybody wants somebody to be their own piece of clay.'"]

JSY: K*** this is the one i told u about girl... wow i cant believe this isnt even a completely isolated opinion... r u kidding me!? my kids know what sex they r and kaylee loves trucks and preston loves picking flowers... my girls are different from eachother... they r free to b themselves and know at least who they r.. ugh i wanna save these poor children!! (1 like.)

SBM: let's just wait for TLC to do a show on them so that way we can see how they turn out in ten years...

SBM: final thoughts: how are they going to potty train Storm? standing/sitting?

JSY: with so much emphasis on gender stereotypes what haened to the important things in life.... GOD, family, friends working towards ur dreams... what does gender have to do with any of these things?? u think a crossdressing 5 yr old being taught that the sex of his younger sibling is a "bad thing so we cant tell anyone" is going to have better future or more enriched life then a child who isnt raised this way??? ugh i get so upset just thinking of it!i thought the "metrosexual" prettyboys were bad enough!

SMM: Unbelieveable!

RTW: I see a lot of therapy in this kid's future.

CCD: S**** - I wondered about the reality show thing...whether they are just doing this for media attention like that.

Ox Younger: I dunno, I thinks it's at least novel and somewhat admirable. A child who won't have to worry about whether or not their actions are something "a real man" would do, other whether what they are doing just "simply isn't ladylike." There IS a lot of ugly and disgusting gender conditioning that happens when parents raise children, and this kid might get to avoid ALL of it.

Ox: Maybe we ought not ponder what is "manly" or what is "feminine" and just wonder "What is human?"

Ox: Besides, I thought that in Christ, "there is longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male or female." Or am I being too literal for everyone's tastes?

Ox: I've changed my mind. I outright support this. And I don't mind if all you think I am sick for it. Wouldn't be the first time. But before you shout "Heretic!", look above and do some actual thinking before spouting off knee-jerk-reaction style.

JSY: It just seems to me that hiding a gender is saying that there is something wrong with being either male or female. why couldnt you just raise your children to be free spirited. let your child choose their own hairstyles and things like that if you want but when it comes down to raising a respectable, young adult, gender is the last thing i think of!! my kids have never stopped what they were doing and said oh darn i cant use the blue bubbles!!! those are "boy bubbles" my kids r 6 months, 3 yrs, 5 yrs, and nearly 7yrs old, 2 boys and 2 girls. they love jesus and learning and dancing around like goofballs to good music... they are confident and expressive, and opinionated and proud to be who they are! and they know what gender they are! when did it become difficult to raise strong independant confident people because of their sex... isnt that the parents putting a hinderance on their child before they even have a chance to be who they are... they're starting off that baby's life already saying that a part of who you are and what GOD made you isnt important!

Ox: Really, it's not important. He Is Who He Is no matter what gender or sexuality we identify ourselves as, even if it is nothing or neither.

Ox: Let me ask you: with this free-spiritedness of which you speak, you have a line, don't you? If your two boys wanted to wear dresses to prom when they get older, or if your two girls want to wear tuxedos, you'd draw the line, wouldn't you? Because that's crossing gender lines and society simply does not approve! The whole concept of "equal" but polar-oppositional genders has done far more harm than good. Where do you think sexism comes from? Not from sexual identity itself, but the whole notion of "this is what one gender does and this is what the other does, and when they don't comply, it won't abide!" Why do you think women continue to be oppressed all over the world, including our "God-blessed" USA? And how about homophobia? Is it just not the furthest logical conclusion of people, both man and woman, not approving of men having "girly" behavior and vice versa? Or how about the fact that it's insane to have two genders when there are over FIVE sexes? What about the people born with parts inbetween, the whole shabang, or nothing at all? What do we say to them? "Boy or girl, choose. Careful, because the decision is forever." Do you know or have seen the kind of turmoil intersexed people go through because society says they have to choose one gender and stick to it? Because society can't get over it's idea "There are men and there are women, and this is both what they do and ALL they do"? If you claim to care so much about these kids, leave them alone.

Ox: P.S. "...isnt that the parents putting a hinderance on their child before they even have a chance to be who they are..."

Uhhhhhhh, NO. That's what gender roles do. GENDER ROLES put a hindrance on children "before they even have a chance to be who they are..." You can't think on a scale of blue and pink bubbles. Gender roles are far, FAR more reaching than that. That's why women aren't allowed to play football or write in Hollywood, that's why men get called a faggot behind their backs when training to be a dancer or a nurse. Gender roles have never been good for anyone, and it seems that as of late they've been even worse than usual. Seriously, why is this whole thing about a genderless human such a huge hang-up to you people? It clearly doesn't matter to El Shaddai! Am I going to have to keep shouting Galatians until I am blue in the face?

Ox: P.P.S. A stitch (of research) in time saves nine (headaches).

"The Five Sexes: Why Male and Female Are Not Enough"
http://frank.mtsu.edu/~pho​llowa/5sexes.html //

"The Five Sexes, Revisited"
http://www.neiu.edu/~lsful​ler/5sexesrevisited.htm //

[I do suggest you read these, to have a more scientific, less biased understanding of the issue.]

JSY: i completely understand they want to protect their children, i get that 100%. i simply cannot wrap my mind around why a loving parent wouldnt celebrate EVERY part of who their child is! thats it. i wont change your mind nor completely understand this way of thinking. woman and men ARE different. God made it that way for a reason. why hide it. (1 like.)

Pastor: Ox when we are raptured..................​. [Knowing that I am strongly against the Rapture, this was the pastor's way of letting me know that I was maybe laying it on a bit too thick.]

Ox: If you can't see the stranglehold that gender roles have on society, and on your children, now no matter how well you claim to have raised/will raise them, that's on you. Hope you enjoy raising children who are far more likely to become homophobic and sexist than if it were not the case.

JSY: love how you judge me when u know nothing of me or my lifestyle! i have said numerous times i know there are unjustified gender stereotypes. you pick and choose what you pay attention too and you can flip bible verses and take them out of text all you want but i live my life the way GOD's word says is right. not what i think makes me feel good or how i think things should go. You can tell your not a parent from the way you judge one. no matter how you think the world should be or should treat people putting an innocent child out there with out the right tools to protect themselves; its abuse. the world doesnt understand this and therefore these babies are being set up for ridicule and unjust unfair treatment bc thats the way the world is... hiding a sex of a person isnt going to change that... no matter how you criticize my childrens upbringing i am confident in my LORD and i will not bend nor break... like i said i will not pretend to have the ability to make you see it my way and i will not come to view this as right... insulting my way of thinking just shows the assumptions you put on people with out knowing them... never have i said what u were saying is wrong or judged the way you live your life... i can only discern that this is not right for my life and the way i believe GOD wants his children to live. and on the "5sexes"... i could find an article on why its healthier to walk backwards if i looked hard enough. doesnt sway my mind in the least! GOD's way is the only way and i will pray for us both! Just because we dont agree doesnt mean either one of us is better then the other. its amazing to me that you can so easily condemn me for raising my children the way i am (although you dont know how i chose to raise them) and yet defend someone else raising their own children differently. why, because you convinced yourself this is the "correct" way then fine! thats great. i dont need to get your approval or acceptance or tolerance of anything i choose to do... and vice versa... may GOD bless you in your own endeavors and have a great evening.

Ox: Your own words incriminate you well enough. I'll go no further.

Ox: But also, those articles were written and published by a woman who has worked over twenty years in the fields of psychology and anatomy and physiology, and her work has yet to be refuted by others in an actually academic setting. Those articles are NOT weight-loss voodoo. How else you you explain people born with multiple reproductive organs from both sexes, or people who are either born with none, or reproductive organs that are simply ambiguous and can't be defined properly? Like I said, this isn't voodoo, this is science that people refuse to accept because it hits too close to home.

Ox: And as a final note, I wasn't using that verse from Galatians out of context or "flipping it". That was the whole idea behind Paul saying such a thing: to destroy gender roles, race walls, and nationality barriers that keep people oppressed even today. If you're so concerned about "GOD's way [being] the only way", it would do you well to actually take some time to learn what that is. But I am done and spent, and I will spill no more words over this.

In an attempt to derail some of my anger, I blocked JSY just so I'd never have to hear her spews of childish ignorance ever again. I just can't believe I actually got the last word.


P.S. It annoys the living crap out of me when people capitalize the entire word "god" when referring to Yahweh. "God" is a title, not a name. 

Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Homosexual?

Yes, I realize I'm coming at you with guns hot. That's half the idea of this blog: I have no intention of pulling punches, which means I'll be bringing out the big guns first and foremost (to use militant metaphors, with which the people of my hometown are familiar).

Homosexuality, in my mind, is the issue that is going to make or break the church of our generation. Every previous generation has had an upheaval that has been the same for them: the issue of women in the church and government (which still hasn't been properly addressed in my eyes), African-Americans, Native Americans, "liberal atheists", "darn Catholics", followers of Islam and other Eastern faiths: the list of scapegoats is endless.

Homosexuals are the new one that's fashionable to hate on.

This ought to be a surprise to no one.

Despite Christ's doctrine of love for all and all for love, the Church has done a damn good job ostracizing and making enemies out of anyone it can. And that is the sort of ungodly behavior that seriously needs analyzing and adjusting.

I will start with an illustration:

Every Christian is in at least some way familiar with the story of The Good Samaritan. And this is how most people read the story: a Samaritan, who is usually always bad and selfish, goes out of his way to be good for once for the benefit of a burdened man. This, of course, is not the same story that Christ told to his brothers and sisters. Allow me to put the story into contextual perspective:

For those of you who know your history of the Tribes of Israel, this will be a memory-jogging for you. The Israelite kingdom, after the return to Israel after the exile to Babylon, was divided into two kingdoms: Samaria, the northern kingdom, and Judea, the southern kingdom. The Samarians, according to the Jews below, were considered a dirty half-breed, for having made husbands and wives out of the people of the surrounding area, people who did not share the blood or God of Abraham; and even those who adopted Yahweh as Lord were not accepted. This thought pervades our modern situation. Most fathers are not happy when they find out that their daughter is intending to marry someone of an opposite race, and may even treat their children together as less than grandchildren of the same race. This even occurs in reverse of the white standard: I have a white friend who is engaged to a young black woman with whom I am also friends, and her father was more upset about it than his parents. (Racial tenstion is rarely a one-way street, but I'll save that for another day.) In any case, the Samaritans were certainly looked down on as less-than by their pure Israeli brethren. They were to be spit upon and not allowed as a guest in an Israeli house. Quite harsh treatment, even by today's standards.

Now let's go back to The Good Samaritan. A Jewish man is traveling down the road when a tragedy befalls him. He is attacked by bandits, his possessions stolen, and left for dead. Then comes along well respected individuals in Israeli society. First, a Jewish priest of unknown origin comes along, but continues to pass as the man cries for help. Then a Levite comes, and being a Levite, the Tribe of Priests, we can only assume that is priest is held in higher regard and even more worthy than the priest who came before him. But even he ignores the dying man. Then the unthinkable happens.

A dirty half-breed with no respect for Yahweh and the purity of Abraham's blood comes along. He cannot allow this Jewish man to die on the road. Not only does he bandage the man's wounds, but he gives him his own steed to ride, feeds him later, and gives him a proper bath and even an anointing in oil (in some translations.) And he even goes a step further by giving the man a part of his purse and letting him spend whatever he needs to get back on his feet.

Like I said earlier, this is not a story about a bad guy being good for once.

This is a story of shock and revelation for the Jewish audience. The Jewish man is the story watched a good priest pass him by, a better priest pass him by, and then he gets saved by a man he has been taught from his youth to hate? And further more, Christ says be as THIS man? Wait, they say, I'm supposed to be as this dirty half-breed? But how can he be good? He's a Samaritan!

And yet thousands and thousands of Christians say the same thing about gays and lesbians. "How can this lesbian be good? She's a queer!"

Christ always illustrated the people you have been taught to hate are the exact people you must be trained to love. He spent more time with the gays, the crossdressers, the blacks, the women, and the liberals and atheists than he did the religious right, the staunch conservatives, and the capitalists, metaphorically speaking.

If you aren't reading this in your Bible, you're just not reading it.

God loves the unloved, whether you do or not. So imitate God, and love those "queers" you can't stand. For what you have done for the least of these, you have done for Christ. Treat a gay to dinner, or call a gay a faggot, you have just done the same thing to Christ. He said so. Love them better than you love your own children. He said that too. 

I love my gay friends and my gay Christian friends, because they need my love as much if not more than others. Lord knows they're not getting that kind of love from the rest of the Church. And I take them as they are, because that's the best way to have them. God said come as you are. So they do. Gay as they darn well please.

And for those of you who say that you cannot be Christian if you are gay, or that being gay prevents you from being a good person, then you best have a talk with my friends over at Bible Thumping Liberal and Unnatural Humor. In fact, if you're of the opinion that gays cannot to Heaven, then Bible Thumping Liberal has a whole series dedicated to why not only gays are fine with God in that regard, but why, if the Rapture is true (I personally don't think it is [and neither does Christ], but I'll save that for another day), gays will be swept off with all the other fundies. And if you are scared or revolted by the words "bible thumping liberal" in that last sentence, it might be best for you remember that when lived and practiced correctly, Christianity is the most liberal and radical lifestyle you could possibly live.

Enough for one day, I shall return later this week.

An Introduction

I like to keep in mind what Oscar Wilde said in his Magnum Opus (and one of my top four books), The Picture of Dorian Gray: "To question is the beginning of faith."

Returning to my hometown for the summer tends to be a love/hate affair. On one hand, I certainly do enjoy the company of my family and friends, the ones who have stayed true to me for years. I always look forward to swimming, trips down to the river, and just having some mostly stress-free free time. On the other hand, when your hometown is a speck of dust on the radar of rural Missouri, as a Christian, this means coming home also involves having to be subjected to a lot, a lot, of terrible theology. I do not claim to know what it is about small towns that makes people small-minded. It could be the lack of culture clash, or the general lack of culture. I'm not much concerned with that. What I am very concerned with, however, is the fact that small towns also produce small, weak, anemic, and altogether terrible theology.

For the sake of argument, my name is Ox Younger, and this blog is dedicated to unearthing and looking deeper at the God-awful theologies that are accepted as fact in many ultraconservative and fundamentalists regions in the church. I intend to pull no punches with my criticisms, so I hope you treat mine with the same dignity. Please understand that I am by no means a true authority on Scripture: but that my aim is to tear down those that have wrongly asserted their own perverted doctrines as "Gospel Truth."

Now, a little bit of my recent background on the subject:

My girlfriend and I are in town for the week, and this marks the first time my girlfriend has had any interaction with any of my family. So far, she has been taking to my family rather well, and likewise in that regard. However, my girlfriend has identified herself somewhere in between an agnostic and an atheist, so I knew that first impressions would be the hardest when it came to the church my family has attended for entirely too long. Our church has never been the type to be heavy handed on actual scripture study, which is a shame, because so many of the young people who attend start off with a burning desire to unearth truth, but most end up succumbing to the doctrine of their parents. The lack of intensive scriptural study has led me to become the church's Devil's Unwelcome Advocate on a number of issues: gender roles, The End Times, homosexuality, the significance or lack thereof of The Devil, Hermeneutics in general, the place of art in the Christian's life, charity, "once saved, always saved" and other questions of salvation, music and film, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera; all of which I intend to address throughout the blog.

And I will most certainly address these topics. With fervor. I should have the first actual post done by today. Hope to hear from you soon.